Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Uncle Mobster and his gang

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI was reminded earlier today of a Harry Browne quote involving government breaking your legs and then handing you a crutch. The exact quote is:
"The government is good at one thing. It knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say, "See if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk".
I decided to break that idea down a bit and apply it to some of the contemporary factions that populate the political landscape. The first thing I did was to replace "government" with Uncle Sam since government is not a person, and I have no idea what a government looks like. Since I think of someone wielding a baseball bat or similar blunt object when the idea of someone's leg being broken comes to mind, then it's fitting to personify government, and here in the USSA the logical choice for that would be good ol' Uncle Sam. So, here's what I came up with:

Democrats, Progressives and their ilk: This group matches Browne's quote the best. They are accomplices of Uncle Sam the leg breaker who make sure that everyone gets a crutch upon having their legs broken. Never mind trying to heal the leg or prevent future attacks upon it.

Republicans and other hard core state capitalists: Accomplices of Uncle Sam the leg breaker who want to force you to invest some of your money so that you can maybe afford to buy your own crutches upon having your legs broken by Uncle Sam. Never mind trying to heal the leg or prevent future attacks upon it.

State capitalists who falsely claim to be free marketeers: Accomplices of Uncle Sam the leg breaker who want to remove crutches from those with broken legs. They claim to want to help heal the leg and prevent future attacks upon it, but such rhetoric rings hollow when these people remain accomplices of Uncle Sam the leg breaker.

Those who care about free markets and individual liberty, and thus loathe Uncle Sam the leg breaker, wish to remove him from the picture entirely so that legs can heal and the need for crutches goes away for good. If you care to add to or dispute any of this, please let your thoughts be known.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usAmong the three groups listed above that are in collusion with Uncle Sam, the latter two seem to be especially hostile to those people who steadfastly adhere to the principled promotion of free markets and individual liberty, which of course involves condemning all of Uncle Sam's leg breaking excursions, both here and abroad. It's amusing to notice these statists who love the leash around their necks defend their masters by barking various slanderous sophisms at those who resent their masters and wish to break free entirely from their leashes. Do they really love their masters that much, or do they just have a serious flea problem or something? Maybe there's another angle to it that I'm just not picking up on.

Whether it be puppy dogs, apesnakes, or whomever, it seems that certain critters just seem inclined to bow to authority, even if they like to fancy themselves as being otherwise. Thankfully, there are other critters, such as cats, snakes, and pigs who are more individualistic in nature and don't feel the need to rely on court intellectuals to shape their thoughts and impulses.

I guess there may be some readers who are wondering what an apesnake is. Beats me. My guess is that it may be an unusual breed of snake that has some ape genes mixed in.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usOn that note, I think I'll close off this post with a quote. It is targeted at the various accomplices of Uncle Sam the leg breaker and is dedicated to all the Charlton Heston and Troy McClure fans out there.
"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty apes!"


Blogger Kevin Carson said...

Heh. Taking away the crutch certainly sounds like the kind of "free market reform" the people at the Adam Smith Institute could get behind.

Or worse yet, privatize the crutch by "selling" it to Global CrutchCo LLC (i.e., paying them $5000 to take it), and then let them rent it to you at a jacked-up rate. After all, that's the sort of thing that led to the Chilean economic miracle.

2:02 AM  
Anonymous Sunni said...

I'm sorry I brought all this about, Freeman ...

7:24 AM  
Blogger saltypig said...


1:04 PM  
Blogger freeman said...

No need to apologize Sunni, it's all good. I really shouldn't take such things personally, thus I shouldn't have engaged in a discussion with that particular critter.

But hey, I got to mention both puppy dogs and Planet of the Apes, which is a plus!

5:21 PM  
Anonymous Sunni said...

I'll take your word for it that mentioning both is good ... I liked the Planet of the Apes reference, which brought back many fond memories. Roddy McDowell was probably my first movie-star crush.

8:52 AM  

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